Mexico Musings

I was thinking the other day that my mom and I should go out for lunch.  And in my head was all the places we used to eat at in the USA.  Then I snapped out of it, and remembered I'm in Mexico now.

No more Red Lobster.  Er...actually, we already said we'd never eat there again after the menu turned to shit and got stupidly expensive.  

No more Texas Roadhouse.  Um...there was always a line to get in there.  They were always crowded.  And yeah the steaks were good, but $150 for two people?

I tried to think of a place we actually liked to eat at in Tucson and came up empty.  The Chinese food there was terrible.  My mom can't eat much of the American version of Mexican food because she can't handle anything spicey.  (In actual Mexico, it's really not like this that often.)

Oh wait, there was one go-to mainstay:

No more Churches Chicken.  Okay, well, I like fried chicken of this sort and they don't really have that here.  It more the El Pollo Loco style baked chicken everywhere.  If I want to get American style fried chicken there is one single solitary KFC in the gringo area of La Paz.  We've eaten there twice.  

When I say eaten there, I mean went through the drivethru.  

Ahhh...ordering through drive-thru's.  Such an American convenience.  I pulled right into that drive thru the first time with all the confidence of a stupid American and ordered.

"Doce piezas familia bucket por favor." 😀

There!  I did it!  Amazing.

*Rapid Spanish questions that sound like gibberish to me.* 

😨AHHHH!  What did he say?!  Mom what did he say?!😨  

Mom:  I don't know.  I couldn't hear him.  Ask him to repeat.

HOW THE FUCK DO I DO THAT?

Me:  Um...extra crispy?

NO!  *Rapid Spanish Gibberish Sounding Words*

Mom:  I have no idea what he's saying.

Me meekly:  No intiendo.

A manager gets on:  😡Pull up to de weendow.

I pay and am handed a bag of food.

FUCK!  WE GOT COLESLAW!  He was asking what sides you want you idiot!

Yeah.  So.  Drivethrus are a no until my Spanish gets 10x better.

But I don't need Drive thrus!  I got Didi Food!  

Didi Food is the UberEats of my area (and maybe all of Mexico?)  It's also the Uber of my area.  It has another app called Didi Drive.

Any time we're out and about there are motorcycles with boxes attached zipping through traffic at mach speed with the Didi Food logo on the back.  I got in on that shit quick let me tell you.

And let me tell you something else:  Ordering food delivery in Mexico is FUCKING AWESOME!

USA:  We only had UberEats in my area.  I have *NEVER* had an order of literally *ANYTHING* be less than $100.  Korean food?  $150.  $70 for the food.  $80 for the fees and tip.  And it was a race against time for them to deliver before the gate to my building closed for the night.  So I always did the $3 'straight to me' fee too.

Mexico:  Literally no way for any food order to cost more than $50.  That's with EVERYTHING.  Fees.  Tip. Letting the delivery person keep the change.  Everything.

And I say there's literally no way for it to cost more than $50usd because you can only order up to $1000 pesos worth of food ($50) and pay cash for it.  Otherwise you have to pay with a credit card.  

And guess what?  They don't accept any of my credit cards.  I try.  They fail.  I'm routed to a page to get a ClaroPay account.  Which I would love, but I don't have a tax ID number for Mexico (the local Mexico one).  They didn't give me one because I'm not allowed to work here, and that's how they make sure of it.  If I can't pay taxes, I can't work.

Hence, I have to make sure every order is under $50 enough for there to be room for the fees and tip.  You'd think that's a problem, right?

I just ordered lunch for my mom and I for $250 pesos.  $13.  And that was, again, EVERYTHING.  A pizza.  A tip. The App fees.  It was actually only like $220, but the delivery people always give change in a massive pile of coins so I told him to keep it.

BUT WAIT!  It gets even better.  La Paz is a reasonably big city.  250,000 people here.  It's a decent size.  Big enough for us to have everything we need.  However, the whole city is on a very small footprint.  There is no such thing as a 'long drive' here.  Everything is within 6 kilometers of us.  

In Tucson we had to give ourselves an hour to drive anywhere.  It's a 30 minute drive to get anywhere because there was so much sprawl.  But add to that constant annoying construction and bad traffic in winter when all the snowbirds were there.

But here? THE FOOD COMES FAST.  Especially since there's a million places within 3 kilometers to order from.  

It comes faster than the Apps estimate.  The app said 30 minutes.  Yeah right, it was 17 minutes.  Basically when you get the notification that the courier is picking up your food you better start walking downstairs, Yamila, because if you think you have another 5 minutes you're crazy.  

There are some things I miss from the USA, but if I was to go back I would miss SOOOO many things about Mexico.  

Life in Mexico is good.